Winning a battle...

What I lived in last week I can really call a “life changing experience”.. I just hope I will be able to pass it in this post in a right way ;)..

When I came from Slovakia, we had like 7 days to prepare the conference for 1 whole week..
I met my facilitators in Santiago for our first meeting exactly 5 days before conference. We spend a loot of time on talking what does the conference mean for us, what impact we want to see in the delegates afterwards, we discussed a lot our way of working and expectations from each other. After meetings of 2 hours I just loved my faci team- I had 3 very very special people- Piotr from Poland, currently working in Ecuador as Vice President external relations, I had Felix- ex Local Committee President from Germany, currently studying in Santiago and I had Tomas- our star-member from Chile opening the new committee in Mendoza in Argentina. All of them had very diverse experience and I knew from the beginning that the conference with them will be just cool..

And so it happened.. but not from the beginning..I did not feel ready for the first day I felt kind of stressed cause I knew how many things are still missing and what everything still needs to be done- and as I was Agenda manager I was finally responsible- I had to make sure that everything is going on well..

And I also felt a bit stressed cause I made a promise with Joaco on last conference that I will deliver one session in Spanish- and I announced it to whole faci team so I just had to do it.. :S
We started our track on Monday, the first session and I suddenly just ask how many people have problems with English- several hands arose- so I switched to Spanish. I could not express myself so well- made a loot of mistakes and mixed English and Spanish but anyway- for me was huge step forward- 1st time I spoke in front of more people Spanish, first time I was not so scared to use Spanish.. so I was very very proud about me .. but not for long time..
Every day we gathered the inputs from the delegates what they liked, what not, what they wish to improve and feedback for me this day was like: “Improve your communication (language)”, “use either English or Spanish (don’t mix!)”, “Use the language that is more comfortable for you..”

Uuufff.. this was like a slap into the face when you do not expect it! it made me almost cry..
People could not imagine what a challenge I overcame that day, what a huge step it meant for me, how proud I was.. I was very disappointed- the positive feedback and appreciation of some people that I m trying to speak in their language I just did not take in consideration..
I just told to myself ok.. so this conference I m not going to deliver the session in Spanish. It s too bad.. Sorry Joaco, sorry other people that supported me.. it s not the time now..and I just gave up..

Next day I just spoke in English. I did not want to use Spanish at all.
Then in the feedbacks in the evening appeared “ Tina try to speak Spanish more”..
Mmmm..So what do you want finally?? It was really ridiculous everything.. I was even more disappointed cause these people do not know what they want..

On 4th Day I woke up and suddenly there was a light in my head saing “Well Tina it is not really about what “they” want.. it is about what YOU want!!”

That day we had a simulation of a Project in our track and I was supposed to present the flow and rules and all tasks.. In a break I took Piotr and Felix and I said to them- please listen and correct me. And I told them all the session in Spanish asking for the words that were missing to be prepared to deliver all information in Spanish to the delegates fluently and without many mistakes..

and so I did!!

I talked like 30 min in Spanish needed help like with 1 or 2 words and at the end I just said- so this was my first session in Spanish and guys started to clap so widely that I just could not believe !!

And what was even better- afterwards I had my ER track where 1 guy does not speak English at all- so I decided to do all in Spanish- and I managed!! I don’t know how but suddenly I found myself speaking Spanish..Of course I sometimes lost the words of course I sometimes could not explain everything- but the guys helped me and at the end everything was ok!
So this was the day D.. but just the day D No1 ;)..

My next objective of the conference was to pass clear message about the projects- how to do them and that it really makes sense to do exchange in a project way.. After our simulation that we had a feedback round with the delegates, where we gave them inputs for all the tasks they did and introduced the Regional Project Strategy, several people came to me that they want to stay in contact with me, that they are really interested in projects and that they want to be part of regional project strategy..

You cannot believe what did those words after my half-year-striving (and usually) falling-down meant.. It just made me more motivated to continue with the partnerships and finish in the right way all the strategies I started!.
Furthermore on this Day D No2 I fulfilled my next objective-
to have a speech in front of whole plenary of ConoSur in Spanish- as I never did so..
so I did that day..I told them the story about trying, getting comments, giving up, striving more and now staying in frint of all of them speaking in Spanish..I have never had such an applause as this one!! :)

What was even better- after this speech changed the attitude of the people- the started to approach me more, were not afraid of me, were much closer, and I felt I m part of them I felt I am welcome, I felt I … suddenly became LaTina!! :)
I remembered the post that my predecessor- Sveta- had in her blog about “key to Latin American heart”- it was exactly about the language, about understanding, about joining the discussions, about listening and getting the point of talks around.. it was really the Key that was missing in my stay here..

But anyway mine Day Ds did not finish yet that time:)..
After 5 days of the conference we had 2 more days – Project Days where I was supposed to teach in detail all the people how to lead the team, how to manage a project, how to connect all the different areas together to create outstanding results.. Imagine group of people after 5 days conference working during day, partying during night, totally wasted.. and now Tina teach them! Tina show them! Tina motivate them!.. uufff.. I was soo glad I had Tomas and Piotr to help me cause alone I would be totally wasted after that- with them I believe we put our strengths together and really created very good seminar for the particpants

And best moment but for me also to most scaring moment that persuaded me about the success was when Tomas at the end of Project Days said to the delegates standing in the circle: “Now all those who want in next year join a project do a step in the front”
Iin my head was just “O my God Tomas, noooo.. what a quetsion what if nobody will do the step?? Aaaa” I was soo much afraid of the truth- but suddenly I saw that like 70 % of the delegates- except of Vice presidents (that of course cannot join projects cause they have their areas) took the step in the front!... I was just so happy that I forgot to do the step by myself :P
So the conference finished with my huge satisfaction.

With a winning a battle that I was taking last half a year here..
and I just realized that this everything was not because it took some time to make the things happen- no- I realized could have done it much earlier!! Seriously!
It did not take so much time to buy a Book of Spanish and go through the lessons- actually I made 12 lessons in 2 weeks before the conference.. the same with projects- I could have done project day sooner at last conference and it would make a difference- it s just matter of will, of effort- but I was waiting..I was scared saying to myself:
“No I m not prepared.. no Conosur is not prepared..”

NO

If not today- when?? We can delay forever- if we try today we will directly see the result tomorrow..can be good, can be bad, can be great- but at least we have something to continue or improve, something to build on.. if we wait until tomorrow we have just something to start.. and start is the worst..

So I have one message one thing that I truly lived in last days- if you have a dream, a wish a task to do that may do a change- do it NOW..

It may feel you very challenged, very happy, very disappointed if others do not appreciate your effort as it disappointed me.. but if you don’t gave up the feeling of “winning the battle” is just …

…you will see ;)