... adding a point to the last post...

Today I saw this video(again somefruitful moment during writing thesis ;P..)..I made it for one seminar session 3 years ago and it inspired me to write this post….

Regarding to my last post and especially the last part about „not doing anything that would fulfill me now“ I have some more words to say…I am just incredibly thankful I could have worked in AIESEC.. thankful for each failure…

…. each success

….each person that annoyed me

….each person that inspired me

….each person that disappoint me

....each person that made me laugh

…. each friend I found

….each argument with my parents explaining why I AGAIN will NOT come home for family celebration

….each place I visited each culture I got to know

….each “Nestiiihaaaaam “ (I caaant manage that!! Too much!)” and the final “Uff… to bola tesnotka, ale dali sme to!” (Uff was very tight, but we managed”

……really every single moment!

Yes, now I have friends all around the world, there are companies I made contacts with, yes there are plenty of places I visited ( so everything what we usually promise at infomeetings came true ;)-and it s great!

BUT

The real yield for me was that SUPERCOMPRESSED SCHOOL OF LIFE that was behind all that.. no “play or game” as my parents would call it :)…It was REAL and intense learning ..

If I would do the video in these days, for sure there would be now much much muuuuch more pictures and the small girl would maybe grow up even more.. but the general idea would be the same…

Now just having school- the girl is growing just a little..sure- there is some learning- BUT the process is not at all so exponential as it was in each of my last years in AIESEC.. So to all of you that are still there- I really recommend to use the most of opportunities it offers you!!

I am just curious if in any of my future jobs there will be the learning so powerful every single month as it was in this organization……..

….Now I am afraid that I am loosing or forgetting everything I learnt- I am afraid I will not be able to motivate people, or lead a team or project efficiently, that I m loosing my planning skills (sincerely now I could call myself “ the procrastinating time killer”…).. I have no evidence that I still have it cause I don’t have so many opportunities to prove it!!

On the other side- I still hope that this experience is like swimming:

When you learn it and you don’t swim for looong time, once you fall in water you won’t go deep, but you survive.. and even more you will move and swim somewhere to..

so… I cant wait I fall in water again!!!! :) or I could rather.. jump stright away than just wait to fall, right? ;)

... Small update....

Loong time no writing so 1st of all some update of 2010 :)

January

I finally made the worst exam (for me) – advanced microeconomics, what allowed me to come a step closer to finish my studies this June!!

I also facilitated at Czech leadership conference (yes.. again.. :P) with very loose and flexible concept for different level and interest of delegates. It was 1^st time tried this way in Czech republic.. It was very interesting and powerful. For facis more demanding on backstage coordination a preparation though, but then easier during the process. Great and enriching experience! Especially because of co-facis and co-creators Mena, Mojco and Juro!! thank you guys really!!

!

And I met so many alumni, and reconnected with people here- was nice, really nice!!! Alumni corner at MCP election, there were 2 more rows full of alumni (unfortunately I dont have a picture:-/ )

And even nicer was to be 1^st time at a Czceh national conference with my sister, and to see her winning several leadership and project awards and being proud as never before!!!!! :)

Yes.. 2 Pospisilovas at one place.. you can imagine :)

After this I told myself it was the last event…. Not for long that time anyway ;)……

February

My sisters team finally got through their education project "Edison" 7 interns to Prague. For the trainees the project started with special preparation week full of trainings, feedbacks, get to know etc.. I promised to Edison to do for them outdoor teambuilding and seminar for facilitating and presentation skills (a.k.a. TTT :)

The great thing was I had a co-faci for this preparation week- Mira (Jankas boyfriend- Janina including the whole family, huh?? :P) and I am amazingly thankful for his help, support, feedback and great job!!!

Some days before coming to Prague, being at teamleaders national conference and doing trainings on planning, project management and teamleading, I hated myself for putting myself AGAIN into so many responsibilities, thinking “when the hell I would start to write my thesis????”

Nevertheless the following event with the project was maximally interesting,

Not many of the trainees had long @ XP and the work with them was very different. The approach, attitudes, working endurance, language (we do not consider much how specific our vocabulary is- and I do not count abbreviations at all!) .. So- new experience for me.

Outdoor games in the center if Prague! :)

I totally DO NOT regret I did it! Not at all!!!!! (and btw I again confirmed to myself how much I can be effective the more things I have and how much I love to be overloaded!! :))

From that time I refused all “offers” to facilitate/ chair/ train to focus on my studies. (Yes was very hard to say “No”, but it turned out that it was good decision though..)

March

I started to write my thesis- about strategic analysis of a company- it is for my dads business – hopefully with practical use after I finish.

Sincerely I am pretty much into it, I love to get to know more about the market and the business, searching for the opportunities, analyzing the company from all sides.

Only thing killing me is the theoretical part..:-S... for that I have not much motivation neither energy and it s going soooo sloooooooow.. I need to read a lot, whatis really inetersting and cool but..the more I read the more I get confused and disperse and lost :-S…..

Anyway I need to finish by end of April so hard weeks and days are coming…

Beside that I need to finish 3 more courses and do the state final exam, that will be held in June- 1^st week..

so if everything goes well I should be finished soon.. VEERYYY SOOON.. my god….Scary.. isn’t that?? :-O

-----------------

Random corner :):

I started to learn salsa, with some friends we go once, sometimes twice a week for lessons and we learn beside salsa also bachata and merengue.For me it is kind of “keeping alive” my latino soul, and I usually come very happy from the lessons :)..

-----------

Other thing form my life.. but very important is that - although I have many things to do, it does not fulfill me at all.. Reading my blog from last years I realized how I was happy and enthusiastic, when I saw some impact of my (bullshit - our!) work on people´s life.. Now I do not see any impact around, this academic life impacting me does not help at all, cause it is “only me”..too little.. I feel useless and what is even worse that I do not do anything about that with the excuse “I have my thesis, I cannot start doing anything else to not to be dispersed”…

..so I m in the circle but with the strong motivation to concentrate all my energy to finish this university stuff and start to create value in this world ;)..

What it will be concretely? I have several ideas and I will decide soon.. all of them are interesting for me and challenge me a lot. Actually all of them can be realized, the decision will be more about their order ;)… Getting excited to write about that in June :).

... Some thoughts about leadership...

I should be studying microeconomics, but I m just thinking about something that I am going to write.. I just need to put that down, to free my mind and focus on my university stuff again..;)

Yesterday with one of my friends I was a bit discussing what is Leadership for us and who is for us a or better.. THE Leader..

And I just want to open this topic here..cause... I m starting to be fed up with these weird understanding of leader as dictators, kings or gods..I m fed up with perception like Leader = Good speaker, Leader = has the power and uses it, Leader = president/manager/ person with status, Leader= Entrepreneur… Leader = TOP intelligent person …

I m not saying a leader should not have these characteristics or that they are not important for the leader..

I just want to say that there are some more important things without which a person just can NOT be a LEADER..

.. for me personally.. I want to share my philosophy of Leadership that I m trying to keep from my side……maybe somebody will join this opinion..

It happened to me several times that I lost so much trust in people I truly believed in and followed at the beginning until I suddenly realized there was no true in their words.. just some theater! I felt so much BETRAYED!

….How some people can admire somebody who has amazing speech about some cool things, values and behaviors, trying to motivate others and then does something different? How I can admire and follow somebody who I do not see INTO? How I can follow somebody that I don’t have TRUST to?

Talking about LEADER- I want to see a person that does have INTEGRITY of his/her thoughts, words and behaviors! I wanna see person that shows me his/her TRUE SELF.

2^nd thing that I see in many of my friends that I truly admire that they that they know themselves so good and know What matters to them and what NOT..

They know WHAT is important for them....

WHO is important to them, who matters and who not..

They know HOW they want to spend their life with- what people, WHAT place, WHAT environment, in WHAT activities, WHAT LEGACY they want to leave and in what NOT…

Knowing this they just know what is wrong and what is right - they can say NO because they know it is NOT the right thing on their path in life, they say YES because they are totally persuaded and you can even feel it from each of their cell..

And behind each “YES” and “NO” you understand the “WHY” !

And seeing, feeling, understanding this in them inspires me.. this is how they IMPACT me and others this is how I trust them,… This is how I become a follower!

…. And I m really happy I can say I know this about me…I know what I want..

And here I m coming to the 3^rd point .. just if I know what I want, and what matters to me- I VALUE and APPRECIATE the people and things around me..

Ooooh how I hate when some people who gain the position feel so “strong” and “powerful” and show it to the others… Just by stupid joking or criticizing about other people because “now they can now they got selected what means they are more clever than others” .. feeling as a middle of the universe… Don’t have to learn anything more… This just makes me so crazy!! (... and even more when I catch myself to do it as well...... that time I would kick my ass if I would be able to!)

I so much would like to see LEADERS keeping HUMBLENESS.. and look at the things form different point of views..

I sooo much would love to see them learning from the people around…

… and appreciate job of the superiors and subordinates even more......

And the same I want from Followers…..

I just want all of them- the leaders and the followers-

...to act according to their dreams and values

…and to trust, respect and learn from their environment……

Do I want so much???

... Love......

These words just so much fit to the feelings of last weeks..
These text is for me and my friends that had some tough moments in last days, weeks, months.... I found on on the webpage of one of m friend- hopefully he will forgive me I copied.....

Falling In Love - "Letters to My Son" by Kent Nerburn

"It is a mystery why we fall in love.

It is a mystery how it happens.

It is a mystery when it comes.

It is a mystery why some love grows and it is a mystery why some love fails.

You can analyse this mystery and look for reasons and causes but you will never do any more than take the life out of the experience. Just as life itself is more than the sum of the bones and muscles and electrical impulses in the body, love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions and commonalities that two people share. And just as life itself is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too, the coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its ways.

Sometimes hopefully, at least in your lifetime, the gift of love will come to you in full flower and you will take hold of it and celebrate it in all expressible beauty. This is the dream we all share. More often, it will come and take hold of you, celebrate you for a brief moment, then move on.

When this happens to young people, they too often try to grasp the love and hold it to them; refusing to see that it is a gift that is freely given and a gift that just as freely moves away. When they fall out of love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather than accepting the gift for what it was, then moving on.

They want answers where there are no answers. They want to know what is wrong in them that makes the other person no longer love them or they try to get their lover to change, thinking that if some small thing were different, love would bloom again. They blame their circumstances and say that if they go far away and start a new life together, their love will grow.

They try anything to give meaning to what has happened. But there is no meaning beyond the love itself and until they accept its own mysterious ways, they live in a sea of misery.

You need to know this about love and to accept it. You need to treat what it brings to you with kindness. If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart. If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love him, feel honoured that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another and if he falls in love with you and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim or assess blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time.

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can.

There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled with love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them.

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as a need. They cease to love someone who generates love and instead becomes someone who seeks love. They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.

Remember this and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons and its own reason for coming and going, you cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into staying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do.

Love has always been and always will be a mystery. Be glad that it came to live even for a moment in your life. If you keep your heart open, it will come again."

I feel like...

How leadership was born...:)

I am now at home in Slovakia after 1^st day of work at my fathers company, enjoying calm evening, trying to capture everything what happened in last 2 intense weeks…

I went to NALDS- to a conference that 4 years ago changed my life.. I m not sure if without NALDS 2005 I would do what I did, would be where I was… It showed me the direction I wanted to take, the things that were important to me the passions I wanted to fight for..

So I decided after 4 years come back and support the same life-changing experience to other young people and applied for facilitator at NALDS 2009…

Then it happened that on 4^th November I suddenly appeared in a huge conference team of around 25 people starting long pre-meeting of 5 days to prepare the 6days conference of deep self-reflection for delegates from all over the world...

NALDS conference team at official dinner

For me NALDS was full of inspirations, emotions, effort put in small things that finally created such an amazing big picture that just made so much sense!

.. just how we decorated our room - creating a special, maximally comfortable environment… putting around colorful curtains, blankets, preparing every flipchart with water colours, using colourful moderation card.. (was really something for my creative heart ;)… and something totally different after being used to have 1 flipchart and 2 markers of 2 different colours- if I was lucky - in my past MC;) ).

..our Dreaming Room..

And then it really started..

..we met our homegroup- China, Germany, Greece, Estonia, Hong Kong, Nigeria, Romania, Ukraine- that were the nationalities that were in our homegroup.. different personalities, perceptions, emotions… really different flavours ;)…and each of them very very special..

Infinicakers!

First days were pretty cool we had a lot of fun, and everything seemed to be great.. after 2^nd day when we met in faci room and almost all facis shared how their delegates cried and how it was deep and cool etc.. we looked at us with Moritz (my co faci).. well our delegates didn’t cry..but they had a lot of fun... is the measure of success “a crying delegate” .. or..was it really so shallow? Or we just have another personalities in our group?.. did we dig deep.. these were the questions that were running over an dover again in our heads..

I cannot say I wanted to see our people crying- I just wanted them to show feelings, emotions, to be themselves as they are… let them JUST BE….and that was truly missing in our home-group that time..

In next day when Hana opened topic of “my biggest fear” we opened this topic in the group.. and we digged deep.. suddenly it became really sincere and emotional, everybody talking about their biggest fear, confusions.. so the ice broke.. . At this point it became very strong moment when just the things started to move and we went deeper and deeper in each one of the personalities of “our kids”..

We said at the end that we were like “parents” for our homegroup- set the direction for our kids- let them play, let them share, let them reflect…sometimes share our point of view, sometimes let them speak, sometime be strict, sometimes be loose..

In one moment after sharing our visions and what we want to do with our strengths and passions in our lifes, what kind of impact we wanna create I was totally impressed by our delegates, by their ambitions, their thoughts by such a progress done just in several days.. Cause everything they told us was just them- sincere true and committed…

In that moment I just heard myself saying ….Smiling, being proud…: “I just feel that.... Leadership was just born in this room”

And at the end.. when I saw how much we can change in people only in several days I just thought:

“this is it.. this is what I live for.. this is what makes me happy, excited, passionate....”…

I just realized it was the same that I realized in NALDS 2005..and then started to happen big things…

Now after 4 years..

I expect even more..

I have a DREAM………..;)

LIke Amelie... :)

Now jus very interesting situation happened to me that I just need to write it down…:)

I was going from my fit class home, in my ears music from my ipod- almost dancing in the latino rhythms.. in hurry almost running cause I had planned skype chat with my boyfriend... I was leaving the tram ad suddenly somebody caught my hand.. I got scared but then I saw it s some Asian girl that looked even more scared than I did trying to ask something… she was asking about some street and some hotel.. I did not have ANY clue where it could be..

what I would do normally like 1 year ago: I would say I m sorry I don’t know where it is and I would leave..

What I did today: I took her the business card of the hotel, called to the reception, asked them where they are and how to get there.. (the receptionist was sooo slooooow..) but then I got the direction I explained them where to how I wrote them down everything so that they arrive well..:)

And after that I felt sooooo great!!!!

It just remind me one thing when I was kind of lost in Argentina..

I came to Mendoza and I was supposed to meet some AIESECer that I have never seen before and he had neither ever seen me.. I even didn’t know if they got my email that I would arrive, I just had some phone numbers that finally did not work..

.. I just hoped somebody will pick me up.. I sit down on a bench…it was like 5 a.m. Me- almost no sleeping in the bus- veeeeryyy tired.. I waited, waited, like an hour.. nobody appeared.. my eyes were closing..

So I wrote a on a big paper AIESEC I put it on my bag on a visible place and fell asleep.. Suddenly somebody is shaking me… I just got scared what happened, and in the first minute I was thinking where I am.. One lady next to me was telling me that they are looking for somebody from the information desk- I listened to the speakers but it was not me.. so she started to ask where I m from where did I go to etc.. so I said her my story that I was supposed to meet someone who didn’t come and the phone does not work …She said: “ give me the number I will call”… So she called- and realized I had a mistake there, so called another number- suddenly it was working she gave me this AIESEC guy, I talked and solved everything :).. then we spent some time talking until she had to leave.. I just said to myself wooow this would never happen in my country….)

I felt so good.. and I said to myself that once I will do the same..

So I did.. Today J.. and I hope the Asian girl will once do the same..

Smiling.. like Amelie.. saving the world :P…